Discovering Freedom Through Forgiveness

For almost 4 years I have been working in deliverance ministry with Whole Catholic. I personally have spent the last year going through one-on-one Discipleship Deliverance and have recently “graduated.” This journey has been one where I have learned so much about myself, my enemy, and the Lord God in His abundant Goodness and Mercy. If I could describe it in one word it would be “freedom”. I live now in freedom from the heavy bonds of sin that the enemy has tempted me into all my life.

Through Discipleship Deliverance with Whole Catholic, the Light of Christ has been shined on all the dark areas of my life story. All has been illuminated and redeemed by Jesus Christ. The most unexpected and beautiful thing in all this is the recognition of how much God actually loves me. How much he has gifted me, and every human being. How much he desires for all of his children to be set free so that they may live in the fullness of life. His love is true and more abundant than we could have ever hoped for!

“And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today; for the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be still.” The Lord said to Moses, “Why do you cry to me? Tell the people of Israel to go forward. Lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it, that the people of Israel may go on dry ground through the sea. And I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians so that they shall go in after them, and I will get glory over Pharaoh and all his host, his chariots, and his horsemen. And the Egyptians shall know that I am the Lord, when I have gotten glory over Pharaoh, his chariots, and his horsemen.”

Then the angel of God who went before the host of Israel moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them, coming between the host of Egypt and the host of Israel. And there was the cloud and the darkness; and the night passed without one coming near the other all night.”

Exodus 14:13-20

This journey through deliverance that I have been on this past year has reminded me of this passage from Exodus, which is one of my favorite passages in Scripture. This is a major turning point in the story of the Israelites as they are being led by Moses to freedom from slavery. It is the moment right before Moses parts the Red Sea. With Pharaoh and his charioteers behind them and the Red Sea before them, the Israelites have no where to go, no seeming way out. It is important to note that prior to this the Angel of God and the pillar of cloud was in front of the Israelites leading them. Consider the fact that this pillar of cloud could have very well made them unable to see where they were going. All they knew was that they were following God. While the Angel of God walked in front of the Israelites, the angel was guarding their future, guarding their journey ahead.

This was where I was when I set out toward freedom through deliverance. Early on in the journey, I remember feeling very unsure about the whole thing. I remember feeling like I didn’t know where this was all heading, but there were moments along the way where God revealed himself to me in a powerful way and it was those moments that kept me forging ahead. The pillar of cloud that led the Israelites to their exodus was a shielding by God, but the pillar itself was also a miraculous revelation of God that the Israelites could all see. For my own journey, if I had known upfront all that I was going to go through in order to get me to where I am today, I think I would have turned back a long time ago. To see in plain view all the hurdles that lay ahead of us was not even given to Mary to bear. She too had to trust in the Lord in every moment and she did not know where the Lord was leading her. As I started my journey through deliverance, I was unable to see where I was going, but I clung to the realization that the Lord was leading me and that my Guardian Angel was going before me.

In the Lord’s deliverance of the Israelites, at that moment when the people are stuck between the Red Sea and Pharaoh and his army, Moses gives four specific instructions to them.

1. Fear not
2. Stand firm and see the salvation of the Lord
3. The Lord will fight for you
4. You have only be still

In order to set out on any journey, fear must be set aside to some degree. For us to be able to take that first step away from sin, we must deny fear a place in our heart and mind. We must identify the lies being told to us by the enemy and willingly choose to not listen to them. We can renounce any fear that creeps in by simply saying, “Jesus I trust in you”. In Discipleship Deliverance it is important to start here. To take that first step away from fear and into the arms of Jesus. To allow him to lead you like the Good Shepherd who cares for his sheep. When fear comes our way, we have a choice to listen to it and react, or we can renounce it and follow the Lord.

In their journey this far, the Israelites were able to see behind them. They have watched Pharoah and his army chasing them down. It has been my experience with deliverance that we too are chased down by our sins when we set out to be freed from them. The enemy does not want us to be freed and so he chases after us to try to get us to believe, much like the Israelites were tempted to believe, that we were better off in slavery. We were better off in our sin, enslaved to the enemy. Satan tries his best, through fear, to convince us that there is really nothing that we need freeing from.

The second instruction that Moses gives the Israelites is to stand firm in their faith so that they may see the salvation of God. In their watching Pharaoh chasing them down, the Lord was allowing them to see this for a reason. I am sure that it was important for the Israelites to understand that they were being hunted down, chased after by their enemy in fury and rage. In their minds, they were thinking it was better to be enslaved, at least they had a home, at least they had food and water, and they quite possibly in their mind made Pharoah out to be an ok guy. This false perception would have kept them imprisoned because it would have continued to block them from believing in the power and goodness of God. They were no doubt on a risky journey, but the journey was leading them to freedom by God Himself.

In my deliverance journey, I hit a point where I wondered if it would be better for me to run away and not continue on. I felt stuck between my past and my future, not understanding the power of God and how much more he wanted for me. It seemed easier at that time to just give up and to go back to my life that didn’t look so bad considering the tough road I had ahead of me. But the Lord let me see the enemy chasing me down. He showed me the viciousness of his intentions with me and all the ways he wanted to destroy my life. As Moses instructs the Israelites who found themselves at this juncture to stand firm, the Lord is there to remind us to stand firm; stand firm in faith, in hope, in perseverance, and in fortitude.

It’s important to note that there is a further part to this instruction of Moses where he says “for the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again.” In saying this, Moses directed their attention away from what was behind them. He no longer wanted them to look at their past, so that they wouldn’t continue to be enslaved by it. Moses wanted them to focus their attention to their future, so that they would not miss the mighty works of the Lord that were about to happen. I think my favorite part of Discipleship Deliverance is the glory of God that is revealed and the power of the Holy Spirit that comes alive in you. This look ahead is at the forefront of each session and it is through this outlook that you are able to leave each session infused with hope.

Then Moses consoles the Israelites with the heart of God by telling them that the Lord will fight for them. Once the Israelites’ attention is directed away from their past, Moses shows them what the Lord has been doing for them all along and what God will do for them now; God will fight for them. As the people stood stuck between their past and their future, Moses reminds them that God will battle on their behalf. Moses was not going to let the Israelites turn back from this point, he trusted in God and through his trust in God, the miraculous occurred.

In working with Jansen, the founder of Whole Catholic, it is clear that his faith is strong. He, like Moses, sees what the Lord wants to do in the lives of those he disciples. In leading souls to freedom, he allows the Holy Spirit to lead the process and always respects the dignity and free will of the other. If there comes a point when it is necessary, Jansen is there in faith to trust in God for you, to pray for you, and to do his best to not let us turn back.

The final instruction that Moses gives the Israelites is the practical action they were to take, which was actually to be still. After we surrender all to God and deny the enemy his power over us, we then must be still. In this stillness is where we allow God to ready the miracle. As we prepare our hearts for the work of forgiveness, the Holy Spirit in His gentleness will be there to lead us. Through forgiveness, we deny the enemy any power over us and reclaim our dominion, which was given to us by God, but this cannot be done without the revelation and conviction of the Holy Spirit it our hearts.

My journey through Discipleship Deliverance required a lot of hard work from me. But I also had many moments where I realized that God was on my side and that He was fighting for me. What the Lord did for me was always insurmountable in comparison to anything I was doing for myself, although my work was necessary too. It was in these moments where I was still and allowed the Holy Spirit to do the work that I was strengthened and restored. This is where the true healing happens, but you can’t get there without all the other steps of hard work along the way. For me, when the walls began to fall and I began to experience the healing power of God in my life, I was never to be the same again. Those experiences were more real than any other experience in my life. It is what has stayed with me and now remains as a flame of God’s love in my heart.

In Discipleship Deliverance forgiveness is the key that unlocks our freedom. The people who have wounded us in the past are not our enemy, but instead Satan is our enemy. By choosing to activate our natural enmity toward Satan and his kingdom we are choosing the life of a disciple of Jesus. To be at perpetual odds against Satan is the work of Jesus. This does not mean we run around battling people or causing damage in the world; we are not supposed to battle one another, other human beings. We are however supposed to fight against sin and death, against deception and temptation, against destruction and calamity, against all that Satan stands for and all that he does in the world.

Immediately after Moses gives these four instructions scripture tells us, “Then the angel of God who went before the host of Israel moved and went behind them; and the pillar of cloud moved from before them and stood behind them, coming between the host of Egypt and the host of Israel.” God moves the angel, who was charged with protecting the journey of the Israelites, to behind them, and the pillar of cloud moves behind them as well; thus blocking their sight of the Egyptians who were chasing them down. God was now shielding the Israelites from their past enslavement, so that it would no longer be a distraction or a temptation for them. Their vision was shifted to include only what was before them, where God’s saving power was about to be revealed to them through the parting of the Red Sea.

The story goes along and the Lord tells Moses to hold up his arms and He parts the Red Sea. The Israelites walk between the walls of the sea on either side on dry land. What care God gives them as he dries the land for them so their traveling through would be easier. This can be likened to the point in Discipleship Deliverance where we walk through the prayers of forgiveness. We are the ones forgiving, we are the ones walking through the parted Red Sea on dry land. As we go, we are truly in the midst of the miraculous power of God.

The Israelites arrive safely on the other side of the Red Sea much like we arrive safely on the other side of forgiveness. Once I had forgiven and left my past behind me, the Lord then was able to reveal to me all the goodness he had in store for me. I was able to experience his peace, his love, his joy. I was able to experience healing not only in my life, but also in the lives of those around me. Through forgiveness, I had left my past behind me and chose the Lord to be my future. God not only provided me with protection from my past, but He also cleared away all the shame and condemnation and opened up for me a whole new world of light and love. My past seemed to disappear, although I know it is still there. But through God’s saving power, my past no longer haunts me or has any effect on me any longer.

The final part of this amazing story in Exodus is when the Israelites stand on the other side and see the water flows back upon Pharaoh and his army. This is the finality of God’s mercy and love. He not only wants to lead us out of slavery, but he also wants to destroy the effects the enemy has had on our lives. This completion of the healing process is necessary. By letting us see the drowning of our past in the sea just as the Egyptians were drowned in the Red Sea, the Lord equips us with confidence for our future.

This Exodus story that I have loved so much, has now become a metaphor for my own experience with Discipleship Deliverance. If you haven’t heard of Whole Catholic, I highly recommend that you check them out at www.wholecatholic.com. There are online courses you can take that prep you for your deliverance journey. If there was ever a time to invest in your spiritual journey, now is the time. Jansen Bagwell is a husband and father who has made it his life’s work to use the gifts he has been given by God to lead souls to true and lasting freedom. He and his family converted to Catholicism over 5 years ago this Christmas day. In the 3 years that I have known him, I have personally witnessed how his work in Discipleship Deliverance has deepened and grown, finding a firm foundation in the Catholic Church. If you are struggling and need help clearing your path to healing, I invite you to check out the Whole Catholic website and as with all of our decisions in life, take it to prayer.