Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

You will be consoled according to the greatness of your sorrow and affliction; the greater the suffering, the greater will be the reward.  

-St. Mary Magdalen de’Pazzi

The world today is filled with so much fear. Fear of death is a real worry for so many of us. I recently had an experience of fear, but it was hard for me to see it as fear because I didn’t “feel” afraid. Through this experience I came to understand that God didn’t want me to run away from the thing I was afraid of, as I have always done in the past. Instead he wanted me to sit in it and allow him to sit with me in it. This was a very transformative moment for me as I realized that God’s love and mercy was abounding in my suffering. I found myself no longer praying for the suffering to go away, but for God to reveal himself to me in it. This switch in perspective changed everything for me. The fear no longer had any power over me. When I can choose to suffer and enter into that suffering willingly and do it in love, then I am suffering in union with Jesus. This is true freedom from the bondage of fear.

One reason we fear death is because we don’t want to leave our loved ones behind. While this is a good intention and has the intent of charity and love, there is also an underlying hint of pride and a lack of trust in the power and goodness of God. Jesus Christ alone saves. Is He not powerful enough and loving enough to bring redemption to our loved ones if we die? Too often we try to hold the world up by our own two hands. We try to fix all the people around us. We forget that although we are called to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this world, we are only that, a small part of His plan. We cannot do anything outside of the will of God that will bring salvation. Only God’s will redeems. We are actually called to unite our will to God’s will in all things, not to just work along side him. Union is deeper in nature. It is what brings true and lasting happiness in both the good and the bad times. Union with the will of God is what brings true peace. It is how we best demonstrate our love of God, by doing His will.

My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

True trust in the power of God is made perfect in our weakness. Where we are weak, He is strong. Where we are poor, He is rich. We must allow God to redeem our weaknesses, this means being vulnerable with God. We cannot become holy without being open with God and allowing him to heal our deepest wounds, without letting his love cast out all fear. In death, we will all need to take this big leap of faith, to trust that God will care for all those we are leaving behind. 

Another fear of death is in the death of a loved one. This fear is a very real struggle both emotionally and spiritually. It is associated with the deep wound that the death of a loved one leaves upon our hearts. No one desires to be wounded. It can often make us react in various unexpected ways when we are wounded so deeply. Our Blessed Mother Mary’s Immaculate Heart was pierced at the crucifixion of her Son. It was deemed worthy by God that the Mother of our Lord’s heart would be pierced by the death of her Son. We too would do well to meditate upon her deep sorrow and ask for her intercession when we are seeking comfort and consolation.

The reality is, we will all die. Some of us will die earlier than others. Some will not make it to life outside of the womb. Although death is inevitable, the gift of our life is something that cannot be measured by how long we live on this earth. This gift is given to us at our conception and nothing can take it away from us. All conceived life has been given by the Father as free gift of new life. Our hope is not only in heaven, but also in the resurrection of our bodies on the last day. This is the promise of our Lord. He did not promise that we wouldn’t die, but he did promise that he would return and at that time our bodies will be reunited with our souls in a new heaven and a new earth. Death is not the end. As each Sunday liturgy proclaims,

“We wait in joyful hope for the coming of our Savior Jesus Christ.”

So even when a loved one dies in this world, there is the hope of salvation awaiting them in heaven and a final day when their body is resurrected and united to their soul. We too hope in these very things and so to know that one day we will not only be able to reunite with our loved ones in heaven, we will also one day be able to see them in the resurrection of the body. This is truly Good News! Even the saints in heaven are awaiting this promise. What joy to know that the Lord has not only created us and given us life, but he also loves us so much that he desires that we live with him, in the fullness of our created beings, body and soul, for all of eternity. 

For those who have lost a spouse, this is our hope. For those who have lost a parent or a child, this is our consolation. To be able to one day hold our loved ones again and to know that our bodies will be glorified is a great joy, for there will be no more pain, no more sorrow, no more injustice and misunderstanding. All that will be is God’s beatific vision. To believe in this promise is to live in gratitude for the life that we have been given. When we are able to look beyond death in this way, we loosen the chains that fear has on us. We begin to trust more fully in God’s love. We begin to live again! 

One other way worth mentioning that we tend to experience fear of death is in the unknowing. Many Christians and non-Christians alike do not truly believe in the afterlife. They are skeptical of what happens when they die or they don’t fully believe that it will be better than this life. Others presume that they are going to heaven already and so they don’t need to do anything else to ready themselves for that day. Jesus was 100% human and 100% divine. This means he experienced the fullness of humanity, while also remaining fully divine. This being said, he too had to struggle with the fear of suffering and death. At the Agony in the Garden, there was no doubt an intense struggle with fear. Jesus willingly chose to remain awake, to pray, to keep his heart set on God the Father, although he was struggling. We know from scripture that he remained in the fear instead of running away. He asked the apostles to remain awake with him, but they were unable. 

Fear as an emotion gets our attention and motivates us to protect ourselves. We are worthy of protection. Where fear becomes disordered is when we go beyond the normal means of protection, or when we get stuck. Jesus could have run away to protect himself from his death, but he understood it to be God’s plan and so he willingly united his will to that of God the Father. When we inordinately run away from something in fear it does not allow God to redeem it. Jesus also didn’t get stuck, yet he submitted to the will of God when the soldiers came to arrest him. He took that first step in trust that the Father’s love would abound even in this.

I realized this first hand recently when as I was faced with one of my deepest fears. I finally heard God tell me not to run. To “be not afraid” and to sit in it, to actually feel the fear while Jesus sat right there with me in it, and then to surrender it to him and move forward in love. When I did this, the pain that I was experiencing that I was so afraid of didn’t actually go away, but the sweetness of the Lord was revealed to me in it. There were so many beautiful ways that the Lord showed me he was right there with me in this suffering. The only way I can explain it is that his grace abounded in my suffering. He was right there with me and I couldn’t deny it. This experience of the Lord was one I have never before experienced and it blew my mind. I couldn’t believe that it was possible that God could love this much and in this way, right there in the middle of my suffering. Now I cannot yet say that I was joyful like some of the saints write about, but I can honestly say I was content to suffer for my sweet Lord. His grace was sufficient. 

Suffering is a great grace; through suffering the soul becomes like the Saviour; in suffering love becomes crystallised; the greater the suffering, the purer the love. (57)

– St. Faustina