Hidden Treasure of the Family

To maintain a joyful family requires much from both the parents and the children. Each members of the family has to become, in a special way, the servant of the others.

St John Paul II

The past two days my home has been full with family, neighbors and friends. Even though I am an introvert, I really do love entertaining. It is such a joy for me to invite people into our home to visit with and celebrate, especially during the holidays. I have lived away from my parents and siblings since I left for college, over 23 years ago. Growing up in a very close knit family, it was really hard to move away and not see family on a regular basis. What started out as a ton of travel back and forth, in order to be there for the many family celebrations back home, gradually turned into my husband and I having our own children and needing to stay home more and more. 

No matter how far away I live, or how long I have been away, my parents and all of my siblings, nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews, will be forever part of my heart. My parents formed me and have provided me with the foundation of faith that I stand upon today. They are the ones who first showed me the love of God, and their love has been a constant in my life. 

My siblings are the ones who led me by example. As the youngest of the 8 children, I have watched all of my siblings get married, have children, and even have grandchildren. As I have watched my siblings go through these stages of family life, I have watched them experience so much joy and maybe just as much pain. Over the years, this has taught me that God is present to us at all times, even in our hardships. He is always right there in the messiness of our day to day lives. The stories of my siblings will forever remind me of God’s providential love for us. Jesus does not wait for us to get it all right, so that He can come and dwell with us. Instead He comes to us right in the middle of the messiness and it is there that He chooses to dwell with us. Even though we still experience pain and sorrow, Jesus truly does live in the very heart of the family; if only we have the eyes of faith to see Him there. 

My nieces and nephews remind me of the journey of faith that we are all on, which is actually a drawing in of the Holy Spirit. Most of my nieces and nephews I have babysat at some point growing up, and many of them I have grown rather close with over the years. It has been such a joy to watch each of them grow up, get married, and start their own families. Their journeys are each unique, but in all of them I can see how the grace of God is active and alive in their lives. My nieces and nephews will forever remind me of my own journey and how the Lord really does constantly pursue us, even when we may not be in pursuit of Him. 

My great nieces and nephews have been such a blessing to the family. They are what keep the gift of new life alive and present in our family. I have often marveled at the precious gift that babies and young children are to families. I have experienced this in my own life, as well as in the life of my children. There is an authentic joy that babies and young children bring to the family, whereby the young child becomes the magnet that brings the family together. They emanate pure joy, which attracts every heart, both young and old. My great nieces and nephews remind me of the love of God that continues to sprout and grow in the life of the family.

I say all of this, not to tell you that my family is perfect, it is far from it, but to showcase the generational family, in which the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, Jesus Christ, chose to be born into. So too, each and every one of us is born into a family. No matter what our family situation may be, there is always redemption through Jesus Christ. God’s design for the family beautifully reveals to us a unique aspect of His Kingdom. Through the Sacrament of Baptism, we are all made children of God. No matter how great our family experience was, our earthly families can only ever be a mere reflection of our inheritance in the family of God. We all wait in joyful hope for the heavenly family which awaits us for all eternity. 

It is the Holy Family then that becomes the archetype for all families, but we must be aware to not see them as a perfection that could never be obtained. That is a lie from the enemy, that is used in order to get us to give up because we could never reach that goal. We must also be aware to not view the Holy Family in comparison to our own family upbringing, and allow it to invoke regret, bitterness and resentment for all that was never given to us. That too is a lie that tries to convince us that God does not love us enough to preserve a good and holy family for us. Finally, the Holy Family is not to be envied, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph are to be the help of every family. By the very fact that they lived family life themselves, the Holy Family knows well the struggles and sorrows of the hearts of every father, mother and child. Where our own families may be lacking, we have the Holy Family to call upon for their intercession and their saving help. 

The truth is that God’s great love does in fact intend to exist in and through the family. While we may not have been given a choice of the family we were born into, we do have a choice of whether or not we will allow Christ into our own family here and now. No matter what the dynamic of our family today, Jesus desires to come into it, right in the middle of the mess, in order to redeem it. The Holy Family reminds us of the goodness of God that is to be reflected through the family, from the tiniest glimmer of His most tender love to the most miraculous power of His merciful heart. 

The Holy Family is not for us some false persona of perfection that we are to live up to in order to be happy. Jesus, Mary and Joseph did not live a charmed life. From day one, this family faced hardship. They experienced loss and sorrow, but they also experienced great joy and hope. The human family is a perfect mix of all of these things. The challenge for us is to begin to realize that our family members are not there to serve us or to bring us happiness, but we are there to serve them, in order to bring them happiness. I am convinced that this is the hidden treasure of the family. It is what has completely changed my perception in regard to the family. No longer am I concerned with what I am receiving from my family, but my focus has been shifted to what I can give and how I can serve them. My intention is not to be a be mistreated or disrespected by my family, but it is to be a slave of Jesus Christ; to live for and serve the Lord through the total gift of myself to my family.

For we do not proclaim ourselves; we proclaim Jesus Christ as Lord and ourselves as your slaves for Jesus’ sake. 

2 Corinthians 4:5

Over the years, as my family has grown, it has meant for me the continual acceptance of new persons into the family. These new family members, who have married into our family, have all come with their own backgrounds, traditions, experiences and personalities, many times which are so different from my own. With each new person, my heart has opened wider to include a more abundant charity for all of God’s people. Similarly, with each new birth or adoption into our family, I have been reminded of the fruitfulness of God’s charity, which remains as an abiding presence in our lives. 

As a society we must not shy away from looking to the Holy Family for guidance. The Holy Family shows us the heart of God. It is Jesus, Mary and Joseph who are the lighthouse for all families. The family unit can vary in so many ways. One of the greatest things I have learned from living away from my family is that God calls us to open our hearts to the people right in front of us, to expand the limits of what we know as family to include the friends and neighbors whom God has placed in our lives. While my generational family, the family that I have been born into, is permanent, God also desires that I experience the joy of family wherever I am, and with those whom He has placed in my life.

Today, may we shy not away from the glory of the Holy Family. May we turn to Jesus, Mary and Joseph to seek their guidance for whatever family situation we may have going on in our lives. May we open wide our hearts to the coming of Christ into our own homes, so that He can redeem and save. May we seek God’s healing presence right in the midst of our family, instead of looking elsewhere for personal healing. Lord, you have come to show us the way. Keep us ever close to your heart, revealing to us your purpose and vision for our lives, by way of our family.