Kingdoms Fall

I was at mass on Sunday and a young lady sang a song by Lauren Daigle called Once and For All after communion. Not only was the song beautifully sung, but it hit me in a place that was both very unexpected and very healing. The premise of the song is a prayer, asking for the grace to be able to surrender ourselves more fully to the Lord, as we die with Jesus upon the cross. These lyrics in particular I found to be so powerful:

O let this be,
where I die.
My Lord with Thee,
crucified.
Be lifted high,
as my kingdoms fall.
Once and for all.

As I left mass, this song and these lyrics went with me. I have been pondering their meaning in general, as well as their meaning in my own life ever since Sunday Mass. We all have kingdoms that we build for ourselves, ways of living, thinking and believing that we are holding onto. These are false kingdoms that the enemy helps us to construct and they are built upon lies, which stand against God’s one true Kingdom.

There are so many different false kingdoms that we construct throughout our lives. There are the kingdoms of pride, envy and materialism. The kingdoms of lust, gluttony and licentiousness. The kingdoms of perfection, control, and power. The kingdoms of honor, glory and boastfulness. The kingdoms of powerlessness, despair and sloth. All of these and many more, are the ways we are holding on to our own way of living, thinking and believing that are in direct conflict to God’s Kingdom. Jesus revealed to us the Kingdom of God, which culminated with Him being lifted up on high upon the cross. His ultimate defeat of Satan was done through the cross. All false kingdoms fall away at the foot of the cross. No other kingdom can stand at the sight of Christ crucified.

False kingdoms are the things we put before Jesus. They are all of the ways we try to do it on our own, without the help of the Lord and without being led by divine charity. The glory of Jesus was revealed in its fullness through the Pascal Mystery. By holding on to our own personally constructed kingdoms, we deny in one way or another, the divine action of God in our lives. It is only when we let our kingdoms fall, when we stop clinging to them and simply letting them go, that we can actually be lifted up.

The elevator which must raise me to the heavens is Your arms, O Jesus! For that I do not need to grow; on the contrary, I must necessarily remain small, become smaller. O my God, You have surpassed what I expected, and I want to sing Your mercies.

St Therese of Lisieux

What does this lifting up actually look like? It is the cross. It is crucifixion. It is death to self, in order to live for Christ. Like St Therese, it means becoming small, which was not a smallness of character, but a smallness of ego. The good news is that when we do this, we are not alone. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, was crucified first. He goes before us, so that we would know the Way. We learn how to let go of our own kingdoms by following Jesus, so that we may enter into newness of life in His one true Kingdom.

Letting go of what we have held onto for so long will not feel good. It will no doubt be tough and it will stretch us way out of our comfort zone. There are a million questions that may go through our minds as we ponder what letting go really means. Do I trust that if I let go, Jesus will lift me up? Do I trust that the crucifixion is the way of my salvation? Do I believe that God loves me and will never abandon me? Do I really want to let go of these things I am holding onto? Am I strong enough to endure the cross? Our questions are good to reflect upon, as they are deeply personal to each one of us, but they should not lead us to give up or walk away from what God is asking of us. Instead, when reflected upon with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, our questions can and should lead us to deep healing; into a deeper self-surrender to the Lord.

As I continue to listen to Once And For All over and over again, I have been asking myself what it is that I am holding onto. What am I clinging to? Then once something is revealed to me, I imagine myself letting go of it by opening my hand and letting it fall to the grown. As I do this, I become lighter and I am lifted up closer to the Heart of Jesus nailed to the cross. As I continue to do this throughout my life, it will eventually be me crucified with Christ, but Jesus will never abandon me. Jesus remained on the cross unto death, despite His power of being able to take Himself down, for me and for you. He remains there waiting for us to die with Him, so that where He goes, we go with Him. The resurrection is our hope amidst this painful process of self-denial; we must keep our eyes on our Heavenly reward.

The truth is, getting closer to Jesus requires that we draw ever nearer to the cross, letting go of our false kingdoms and dying to ourselves. The Way of Christ crucified is not easy, but it is required of us in order to truly follow Jesus.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” 

Matthew 15:24-25