Through Suffering…

In the days when Christ Jesus was in the flesh, 
he offered prayers and supplications with loud cries and tears 
to the one who was able to save him from death, 
and he was heard because of his reverence.
Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered; 
and when he was made perfect, 
he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.

Hebrews 5:7-9

Holy Week is quickly approaching and once again lent will be over and the time for the celebration of Easter will be upon us. In my life, there have been many years where lent has come and gone and I find myself wondering if I have used this time wisely in order to grow closer to the Lord. The Church gives us this season of lent in order for our hearts to be transformed more and more into God’s Glory. When we spend time intentionally denying ourselves of the pleasures of this world, it creates space in our hearts for the Lord to fill us with his love and mercy.

While the penances of lent help train and strengthen our will, so that we will not give into our passions when tempted, we must also realize that penances result in suffering. When we deny our flesh, the flesh will suffer, and yet God comes into our pain and makes it purposeful; the passion of Jesus Christ makes it possible for our own suffering to bear fruit. Along with this we must always remember that God does not want us to suffer. He actually created us for love and goodness, not for sin and suffering. Yet sin exists in the world and God uses all things to lead us to heaven, even sin and suffering when there is an openness to his mercy.

It is the cross of Christ that has taught me so much about God, about myself and about my neighbor. The crosses that the Lord has asked me to bear in my life have reoriented me to God and to the life that the Lord has set out for me. They have taught me to trust in the Lord more fully and to keep my eyes upon him in times of need. The experience of carrying my crosses has shown me that there will always be fruits that come through suffering, but what I have also learned is that it takes an open heart to actually bear the fruits of the cross. God does not want anything in our lives to be wasted, not even our experiences of suffering.

Of all the lessons that I have learned through suffering, they can all be summed up into three main fruits of suffering. The first main fruit is that suffering reveals to me that I need a Savior. So often I have gone through life thinking I am in control, that the more I do the more life will go smoothly for me and my family. I tend to get used to this way of thinking and operating when things are going well. I tend to think that it is because of me that my path is smooth and easy. What I lack is gratitude and remembering that God is guiding my life and that when things are going well, it is because of his love and mercy. I forget that I need to turn to him in both the good and bad times. I forget to thank and praise him for the blessings. But when things are lacking, when suffering comes my way, I am given the opportunity to reorient myself and see my great need for a Savior. In the weakness that comes through suffering, I am reminded that I am nothing and that without a Savior, I can do nothing. Instead of solely relying on myself, I do well to remember that I was created to rely on God, on his goodness, his mercy and his love. The truth is, I do in fact need a Savior; I needed a Savior in the past, I need a Savior today and I will need a Savior every day for the rest of my life.

The second main fruit of suffering is that it helps me realize and remember who my Savior is. When I am weak and in the midst of suffering, I tend to look to the world to satisfy me. My flesh yearns for the world and all its pleasures and comforts, anything to take away the pain I am going through. The lie that is whispered in my ear during these times is that the things of the world can actually satisfy me, that these things can take away my suffering and make me happy. This lie comes straight from the one who hates me, Satan. In my suffering God is calling me to lean into him, to deepen my faith, and to let go of any attachments that I have to the world. In suffering, God is giving me the opportunity to expand my capacity for love, to open up the places of my heart that have been closed off, in order for me to love in new ways, ways that were not possible before. While the world continues to sell me lies, I must do my best to remember that it is Jesus Christ who saved me and he is the only one to bring about my ultimate happiness.

The third main fruit of suffering is that it teaches me obedience to God’s most holy will. There is no doubt about it, suffering is hard and sometimes very painful. I can often physically feel my heart aching. In my own lived experiences of suffering, I can see how the Lord used these times to purify and transform my desires. No longer was I desiring my own will and the tendency I have for the pleasures of the world, but I was desiring the will of God and the eternal gifts he has in store for me, both here and now and for all eternity in heaven. Obedience to God is our ultimate end. It is what Jesus did on the cross in order to undo the sin of Adam. It is how Jesus demonstrated his great love for the Father in Heaven. It is how we too demonstrate our love for God. When we live in obedience to the will of God, we are made holy by God. We are set upon the path of virtue, which leads to heaven.

Amen, amen, I say to you, 
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, 
it remains just a grain of wheat; 
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.

John 12:24

In the gospel today, Jesus teaches his disciples that he must die in order for life to be given to all of humanity. He explains that when he dies, it is not the end, but that his death will actually bear much fruit. This is the paradox of the Paschal Mystery; through death, Jesus brings new life. Whether it is death to self or death to the things of the world, Jesus is calling us to life in him. We must physically die in order to enter eternal life, but we also must die to sin, to vice, and to disobedience in order to live in Christ. These little mini-deaths are what the season of lent and Holy Week are all about. Now is the time, during this time of lenten penance, to reflect upon how God wants to transform us through our experience of suffering. Now is the time to surrender our lives a little more to Jesus, giving him proper reverence, and committing once again to being obedient to his most holy will.