Veiling the Mystery

Last spring I began to wear a veil at mass. I was feeling called to wear it earlier that year, but I kept avoiding it in prayer. In all honesty, I really didn’t want to do it. I didn’t see the need for it, I didn’t understand it, but I still felt this nudge by the Holy Spirit to wear one. After a few weeks of avoiding this conversation with God, what happened was that I ended up avoiding prayer altogether. I just really did not want to wear a veil and I wasn’t willing to talk to God about it because I was afraid of what he would say.

I eventually ended up asking my spiritual director about it, and in my continued state of trying to prove that wearing a veil was silly, I asked my spiritual director to give me one good reason for wearing a chapel veil. His response actually knocked me off my horse. He said that if you look back through salvation history you will see that the people of God veil that which is holy. So then I asked why women? He told me that the woman has a womb and it is in her womb that divinity and humanity meet. The womb is where an eternal soul is given to each human being. Jesus Christ himself came into this world through the womb of woman; thus he sanctified this most holy place. 

As I sat there listening to this beautiful truth, my mind couldn’t help but think of how our culture has denied this truth. We live in a world today that destroys human life in the very womb of a woman. Women do not know the holiness of their body and the miracle of eternal life that God gives to each child conceived in her womb. Furthermore, men have not upheld this truth by treasuring and protecting the woman or her womb. The realization of this was enough for me to start to wear a chapel veil. If not for myself, then for reparation for all those who have had an abortion or who have been effected by it. 

What I came to realize was that the mystery of woman is worth veiling. The womb is truly a sacred place, in which the Holy Spirit brings life to each eternal child. God’s creative action is ongoing and he continues to bring life into the world in and through the wombs of women. This mystery is worth veiling and it is worth honoring and drawing attention to when in the presence of our Almighty Creator.

Since wearing a veil to mass, there have been so many graces that I have experienced. Many are very personal ones that I experience in the intimacy of my relationship with the Lord. One thing I read recently has really got me wondering more about this concept of veiling. It is from a book titled “Through the Heart of St Joseph” by Fr. Boniface Hicks, OSB. In considering how St Joseph handled the situation of Mary being pregnant before they were married, Fr Boniface writes:

St Joseph chose to leave Mary’s mystery beneath the veil. Rather than drawing attention to it by exposing her, he planned to separate himself from her quietly. In the end, the angel showed him in the dream that the best way he could veil her mystery would be by directing the eyes of suspicion toward himself… In this way, he covered her, not unlike the Holy Spirit, who had already “covered her” with His shadow when she had initially conceived the Son of God in her womb. Thus, through his obedience to the angel and the humble acceptance of any false accusations, St. Joseph kept the mystery of Mary veiled beneath his firm presence and loving care.

This great act by St Joseph reveals to us what he was willing to do for Mary. Joseph taking Mary into his home was so much more than providing for her physical needs and saving her from harm, but he was also veiling her from the humiliation and false accusations that she would no doubt experience. St Jospeh chose to humbly walk along side Mary, so that she would not have to experience all of it alone. We can gain a lot of insight here that helps us to understand more about what God desires for all men as husbands and fathers.

In much the same way, it is important for women to remember to look at Mary as a model of virtue. Mary allowed herself to be veiled by St Joseph. She, although free from original sin, placed herself under the care and protection of Joseph, submitting herself to what was God’s will. It takes a tremendous amount of courage and trust to let go of control and to submit ourselves to God, to the Church and to our vocation, but God desires this for all women as wives and mothers.

I am beginning to see now that the initial reason for my wearing a chapel veil has actually begun to unfold in a way that I had never expected. For me, the veil has become an outward sign of an inward reality. I have taken the role of submission. I am placing myself under the mission of God, the Church and my vocation. There is an invisible truth that is spoken in my heart each time I wear the chapel veil. While the outward sign of the veil is not necessary to my having this inward disposition, the veil has been a tangible reminder and a powerful witness for me. 

There is so much goodness that has come from this decision to veil.  I would do well to praise God for his omniscience. The Lord knew well this gift he wanted to give me. He knew the graces he wanted to bestow upon me and the inner healing he had in store for me. It just took time for me to get out of the way and open my heart up, so that I could actually receive what the Lord was trying to give me all along.

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